Be Honest With Yourself

“Be Honest With Yourself” – What It Really Means

Until recently, I always thought “be honest with yourself” sounded cool.
But if I’m being honest… I never truly made it my own.

The moment that changed everything for me happened in early 2024, when I was deciding whether to leave or stay in a relationship.
In a session with my therapist, she looked at me quietly and said:


“Arisa… don’t you already know the answer in yourself?”

Ouch.
I remember feeling like she had just hit a nerve deep inside me.
“Yup, she got me. She’s right. Okay, all right… I surrender!”

Because the truth is, I had known for a long time that things wouldn’t work out.
From the very beginning of our relationship, I had doubts and insecurities.
I knew I had been forcing myself to make it work.

But I was scared – scared of being alone, scared of giving up my dream of getting married and having my own family.
Honestly? I was also just too lazy to deal with the hassle of changing my current situation! Lol

Even when things didn’t feel right or when I was unhappy, I kept convincing myself:
“Everything’s fine… no couple is perfect.”
I lied to myself over and over.
And you know the scariest part?
When you keep telling yourself those lies every day, eventually, you start believing them.

Losing Myself

The worst part of lying to yourself is how it numbs you.
My mind kept saying, “Don’t worry, it’s all good,” while my heart whispered, “No, something is off…”
Over time, my mind and heart disconnected, and I started losing myself.

Eventually, my body couldn’t take it anymore.
From early 2023, I began experiencing frequent health problems.
My blood tests showed abnormalities, but no physical exams could explain what was happening.
I felt drained all the time, my energy slipping away into endless doctor’s appointments.
Then, in January 2024, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease.

It was my body’s SOS signal – a desperate attempt to wake me up.

The Turning Point

During that tough time, my therapist shared a video that changed everything.

In the video, they talk:
How do you know when you’re on the right path?

And the answer hit me hard:
When you’re not betraying yourself.

When you don’t have to negotiate your sense of integrity.
When you’re not compromising who you are.
When it’s not costing you your power, your psyche, or your soul.
When you don’t feel confused.
When you don’t feel you are losing yourself.

Then Oprah said it:
“The worst and most ultimate betrayal is the betrayal of yourself.”

WOW. That was my AHA moment!
Even now, as I’m writing this, I have goosebumps!

Courage To Be Honest With Myself

Through this experience, I finally understood what “live honestly with yourself” really means.
Not just in relationships, but in life.
How many wrong stories had I been telling myself?
I realized that fear had been hiding behind it all.

Facing reality can be painful.
It hurts. It’s scary.
And it’s so much easier to stay in a comfortable lie than to face the unknown.

But when my health broke down, I finally decided to take better care of myself.
When you’re lying to yourself, you know it.
You can hide it from others, but you can’t hide it from yourself.

I apologized to myself and made a promise:
“I am so sorry for betraying you. No more lies. I will listen to you. I will live honestly with you from now on.”

Since I started being honest with myself – at least becoming aware of the false stories I tell – both my heart and body feel so much lighter and better aligned!
I still experience painful emotions sometimes, but now I know it’s okay.
Time eases the pain when I’m honest with myself.

Thanks to all of this, I’m slowly getting back to who I really am!
Every day, I feel like I’m becoming a better version of myself 

How about you?

Are there times when you lie to yourself?
If so, it’s okay – I’ve done it too, many times!
And many people do, even without realizing it!

But the question I want to ask you next is:
Do you want to live honest with yourself?

If you think “yes, but…”, what’s holding you back?

Taking some time to reflect on your feelings and thoughts can be a great opportunity and treat for youself you can do right now!

In upcoming blogs, I’ll talk more about how my journey has been!