What Does It Actually Mean to “Give Up”?

I’ve always been very competitive, the type of person who does whatever it takes to achieve what I’ve decided on.
In Japanese, we sometimes say, “Sometimes, you have to give up,” but I absolutely hated the word “give up” because it gave me the sense of being a “loser.”

Since living in Canada and thinking in English rather than Japanese, I’ve come to realize that the word “give up” might actually mean “let go” or “accept” in certain contexts.
In Japanese, we don’t always make that distinction clearly.

For example, in English, there’s the word “surrender”.
In Japanese, it’s often translated as “giving up”.
When I first heard “surrender,” which felt quite negative becasue I was thinking in Japanese.
However, I noticed that in English, actually “surrender” is often used in a positive sense, which made me think more deeply about its true meaning.
This led me to reflect on what “give up” really means again, and how it differs from other words such as “let go” or “accept.”

This realization became a key to making my life easier, so if you tend to push yourself too hard, this blog is for you!

“Give Up”

When I looked up the word “give up” in the Japanese dictionary, it said, “To stop because you think there’s no hope or chance left.”
As expected, this doesn’t quite fit my personality (lol), but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing.
Sometimes, “giving up” can relieve some stress and tension, and bring us relief and peace.

However, maybe because of my personality, I tend to remember and regret the times when I give up.
There’s this lingering feeling of regret, almost like a bad aftertaste, especially when I feel like I didn’t give my best effort.
I often say, “I do what I do because I don’t want to regret it later!” and I now realize that really reflects my personality. haha

And because of this, I also tend to push myself too hard sometimes…
Does that sound familiar to you?

The Difference Between Acceptance and Giving Up

Understanding the difference between ‘acceptance’ and ‘giving up’ helped me a lot.

When I looked up the word “accept,” it said, “to agree to take something, or to consider something as satisfactory or reasonable.”
“Acceptance” doesn’t carry a negative connotation.

So, while “giving up” involves quitting something because you’re feeling negative about it, “accepting” means simply acknowledging the facts as they are, without resistance.

The biggest difference to me is that acceptance can be really tough in the moment!
But, over time, it clears your mind. Eventually, with enough time, you might even feel good about what you’ve accepted.

However, we tend to avoid facing difficult truths because of the fear and pain in the moment.
We might even “lie” to ourselves in order to do so.

What We Can and Can’t Control

I’ve said this over and over, but remember what we can control and what we can’t.
Everything within us – our thoughts and emotions – are things we can control.
Everything outside of us, however, is beyond our control.

Now, think about this fact in relation to “giving up” and “acceptance.”

Giving up, by definition, means choosing not to act on what we can control.
But when it comes to things we can’t control, is what you are doing truly “giving up”?
Could what you need to do be accepting the facts as they are?

A clear example of this is in romantic relationships.
Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can’t compromise our values.
That’s a reality we can’t change.
Accepting this, letting go of our ego, and acknowledging the situation can be hard, but it’s necessary.
We cannot control other people.

I’ve been in relationships where I stubbornly refused to facing the truth from my fears, wasting time and energy trying to control my partner unnecessarily.
A similar example can be found in long-distance relationships and even religious differences.
Those situations are things we can’t control.

I was wrong because I didn’t know what I needed was acceptance instead of giving up, and kept telling myself “I don’t want to give up!” and “Never give up!” in situations where I had no control over the outcome.
Does this relate to you?
Are you pushing yourself too hard in a situation where you can’t control the outcome?
It might be time to stop and, as I like to say, let’s have the courage to “accept” instead!

The Courage to Accept

Acceptance isn’t as easy as it sounds, and it requires a lot of courage.
As mentioned earlier, accepting the truth is scary and painful in the moment, so we tend to avoid it.

But without accepting the truth, we’re forced to keep pushing ourselves, often unnecessarily.
It might sound dramatic, but in the end, it’s a choice between living authentically or giving up on that life.
For me, deciding to live honestly with myself, even though it’s tough, was an essential step that I couldn’t miss anymore.

Acceptance isn’t giving up or admitting defeat; it’s an honest, brave, and admirable act.
Once I realized this, I became much more careful with when and how I use the term “giving up,” especially since I’m so competitive!

Indeed, sometimes it may be necessary to give up.
But perhaps, what we really need is not “accepting,” but rather just “giving up.”

I try to stay mindful of this and practice it little by little.
I keep reminding myself of what I can control and what I can’t, and I also try to be aware of when it’s time to push through and when it’s time to stop.
And this brings me back to the importance of making decisions, as I wrote about earlier.

BUT! Don’t Give Up on Believing in Yourself

I know acceptance is important, but it can also be really painful.
My hope is that you don’t “give up” on believing in yourself.
(Even if you give up on your last squat, that’s no big deal! haha)

Even if you have to accept and let go of a painful reality or experience, please remember that new happiness is waiting for you.
This might just be my personal feeling, but I get really sad when I see people giving up on something they truly want to do, thinking, “I can’t do this.”

I know that for those who are struggling right now, this message might not fully resonate – but trust me.
This is why I’m currently studying and preparing to become a professional coach.
Because I want to help people build confidence when they need it, support them through tough times, and guide them toward thriving in life again!

Because I believe in you